Thursday, March 3, 2011

An Auto Mechanic's Wet Dream



Jack stripped and lay back on the red satin sheets while she straddled him. He could see tiny niblets centered within dark aureolas and a curly, brown triangle beneath her translucent pink baby-doll, which she slowly lifted over her head and tossed into a nearby chair. 
Their lips met and they reached for each other simultaneously; their bodies becoming a tangle of tongues and fingers. 
Suddenly, they stopped, mid-foreplay.
“Jasmine,” stenciled in curly vines and decorative roses about two-inches above her left nipple, looked down disparagingly at Jack's deflated, mingy manhood and sighed: 
"I'm sorry, sir, but that hose is in awful shape, and since it's one of the smaller models, I’m going to have to charge you more for the parts and labor to get it functioning again." 

26 comments:

  1. Wow. I mean, wow. Great stuff.

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  2. ROFL!!! Oh, I know where this came from! Well done, Maria! :)

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  3. Thom,

    Thanks! I just vented my $800 bill for the work on my car last week in under 150 words. I guess I'm a little pissed at them, huh? I'm glad you liked it that much! Thanks for stopping by!

    Janet;

    Yeah, I had to vent. Auto mechanics piss me off. My neighbor asked me about my car today. Nice guy. Former mechanic, but still...nice. Go figure. He's the one told me originally what he thought was wrong. And I told him how they got me for a whole lot more. He's going to get me the name of his wife's mechanic. Said he's a decent guy, so...we'll see. I'm glad you liked my story!! :)

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  4. That was one beautiful work of vengeance!

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  5. Ouch. And you know there's a huge mark-up on the cost of the parts too....

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  6. FAR;

    Thanks! I'm glad you liked it!!

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  7. The story was great, but your post in the comments cracked me up! Sooo, your former mechanic neighbor is going to give you the number of his WIFE's mechanic? Is that a pick-up line or is it true, a mechanic never fixes his own wife's car?

    The story had me laughing too.

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  8. Tim;

    Thanks! Sorry. I know this might not be a hit with the fellas. But, after the fiasco with my car last week, I thought: What if prostitutes operated the way auto mechanics do? This is the result of that thought. Thanks for stopping by!

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  9. Peg;

    Hahahaha! I left out that he's disabled. He must have something wrong with his back, he walks really slow. I didn't ask. I'm glad you liked the story!

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  10. I don't think it'd be any fun if you mocked a disabled guy's manhood. Better to leave him imaginatively tumescent until the final paragraph.

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  11. Ha! Great way to turn lemons into lemonade. Very sexy, too.

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  12. Ah John;

    No, the CHARACTER is not disabled...well, in a manner of speaking he is. My neighbor, the former mechanic is disabled...Peg was wondering why my former mechanic neighbor mentioned in another comment offered to get me the number of his wife's mechanic. He doesn't work on cars anymore... My character is well...disabled in another way, unfortunately for him.

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  13. Tony;

    Thanks! Writing sex in a story can be hard (no pun intended), but I find it can be fun, too. ;)

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  14. Oh this is SO funny! I wasn't sure where you were going with it at first but then you totally nailed it!

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  15. Ahahaha! Isn't it so much FUN to be a writer? :) Good stuff Maria!

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  16. Ha! Good one! This certainly is a tasty piece of revenge!

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  17. LOL! Literary revenge is the best :)

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  18. Beautifully done. Vengeance is yours.

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  19. Gave me a giggle did this Maria, it seems that mechanics are the same the all over the world in that department (the rip-off the customers department) :D

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  20. Hey! My hubby's a GREAT mechanic and he doesn't rip off anybody! (And his hose definitely ain't broken!)
    Sweet, sexy little tale, Maria. Hilarious!

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  21. Sorry Cathy, no offence intended, I know there are good guys and bad guys out there. :)

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  22. Icy;

    Thanks, dear. Glad you got a kick out of it!

    Deanna;

    YES! Pen is mightier than the sword, so they say. I'm working on a story idea involving harpies that is a vengeful little tale, too! But i can't go into my inspiration there, yet.

    Raven;

    Thanks! I'm glad you liked it!

    Eric;

    Thanks! I may have gotten the words in, but they got my money, though!

    Seleste;

    It is, the absolute best! Makes us poor scribes feel a bit better being able to vent this way. I can't help feeling pity for folks who don't write. All they have is Judge Judy!

    Jason;

    Thanks for the comment and for RT's! Glad you enjoyed it!

    Catherine;

    Glad you got a kick out of it! Thanks for stopping by!

    Steve;

    I'm so glad it made you giggle. Finding an honest car mechanic is kind of like trying to find an honest lawyer...or politician! I keep looking, though!

    Cathy;

    I'm sorry, lady. I know there are decent, honest mechanics out there. I just haven't found one here where I am. I'm glad you enjoyed my story, though! Thanks for stopping by and commenting! :)

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  23. Hey, these guys see guys like me coming a mile off too! We don't all get to play secret hand shakes and say boy things over the carburetter. For all the times i've been ripped off, I award you 10 out of 10!

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  24. I want to become auto mechanic and suggest me how many years I have need to become professional auto mechanic as I have no any knowledge about this field.

    motorcycle mechanic

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